Saturday, February 9

The importance of making friends


The key to getting anyone to cooperate with you or help you do something is to make that person your friend. People find it easier to help those who they know than those who they don't. Don't doubt it. It is just a human thing.

When you need money, who do you normally go to? Is it someone you already know or do you just ask any stranger you meet on the road? When you want someone to teach you something or clarify some things for you, who will you go to - a friend or that guy or girl you just met?

So as a common sense student who recognizes the importance of getting other people's help, your first step is to learn how to make friends. You need to learn how to connect with him or her so as to achieve his or her maximum cooperation whenever you need it.

This strategy is quite simple. First, make these people to come to like you. Then you can be able to influence them. And only then can you be able to get that much needed help from them!

Now one thing you must have in mind is that making friends comes easily to some people while some other people find it to be something very hard to do. If you are in the second group, and you honestly want to do something about it, all you have to do is to listen to me now, let me tell you the basic human psychology which you can always harness to get people to like you almost instantly almost all the time!



Make yourself available
The popular adage says birds of the same feather flock together. If I want you to start liking me, then common sense will have it that I will start making myself available to you.

You may have heard that familiarity breeds contempt. I am not going to argue with you on that. You may be right but the problem here is that you can only start talking about familiarity only when the friendship between the two of you has been already established but the situation I am talking about now is that situation where we are still trying to be friends, you understand?

In this case, familiarity will surely breed fondness between us! When I am available to you, you will find it easier for us to be talking about those things we have in common i.e. our common interest and before you know it, we are pals. It is not a great deal. It is just human nature. I will surely like to be identified as your friend.

But then I must warn you to make sure that your availability should never be interpreted as becoming something like a pest to this person because that can easily make everything backfire!


Approach the person when s/he is in good moods
This needs no explanation. Generally, most people are naturally more cooperative when they are in good moods.

It is very important that you approach this person whom you want to like you when and only when he or she is in good moods. This is because s/he will most likely associate that good feeling with your presence and that type of combination will always get them agreeing to your suggestions.

Similarly, someone who is not in good moods will most likely also associate that bad feeling with your presence too, so that is why I warn that you have to time your appearance carefully. Your greatest problem now is to identify if he or she is in good mood or not.

Well, not to worry because the person's eyes will always give them away. You have to watchful all the time to know when and where you can approach someone to initiate some form of friendship.

What if you don't know that person at all?

Well, then I suggest you go and start learning how to smile as from now because there is nothing as welcoming as a smile even if it is from a complete stranger. It works like magic. If I want you to like me, I will smile at you.
Unless, you are something out of this world, most likely, you will smile back. If not for anything but just for the sake of curiosity.

Smile, smile, smile and warm yourself into the person's heart. There are no two ways about that.


Get ready to highlight your similarities
You may not believe it but like attracts like. People tend to like those who are similar to them, those who have similar interests, experiences, hobbies or tales.

So if I get close to you with a story that I am a student and the things I am telling you on this page is because I am a student like you, you will find out that it is easier for you to trust, believe and like me rather than when I come out to tell you that I am the President of Nigeria!


The way I make you feel
There is no need for me to start making you feel so low if I am around you and I still want you to like me.

If that is the case, you will just learn how to turn me off!

Why do you think people flock around their pastors, prosperity preachers or motivational speakers all the time?

It's simple. These people make us feel like there is hope because all is not lost. They know how to make us feel good or fulfilled about ourselves. They give us reasons to still continue that it is better we push on than give up. They help us to identify our self worth.

In short, they simply know how to just tell us what we want to hear!
If I am around you only to remind you of how well-to-do I am while at the same time highlighting to you how unfortunate you are for not having these assets that I do possess, chances are you won't be hanging out around me next time!


Communicate your interest
If I am interested in you and I want you to see me as someone worth liking, I will not waste any time in communicating my interests to you. Make this person to be aware that you like him or her.

It works like magic. Once people get the feeling that you might like them, they immediately conjure up within themselves that necessary feeling that they can only mean that they might also like you.

And before long, you might even get to see them even playing out some of these get-someone-to-like-you techniques we have been identifying here.


Rapport building
Rapport is like a bridge with which you connect to the person whom you want to see you as a friend.

Similar to the aspect of highlighting the similarities between you and this person, rapport also involves speaking like this person, matching his posture and movements, matching his or her gestures and moods etc.

Granted, this might not be one of the simplest things in the world to do but if you are able to do this correctly and accurately without seeming so obvious, it won't take so long before the person starts seeing you as an extension of him or herself and you know who people love the most on this planet?

Who else but themselves, of course!


Get the person to help you out
The reason why you should do this is simply because people tend to like those who they help.

If I help you do something, there is every tendency that I will have the feeling inside me that there is something about you that is likable to me which must be the reason why I did whatever I did for you.

Most times, people think that they have to help someone out to make the person like them but studies have shown that it doesn't always work like that.
Common sense shows that if you help someone with hope of getting his or her love or affection the next time around, this person might even start seeing you as being manipulative which might lead to him or her start resenting you!
This is mostly exemplified in dating relationships where men will go out of their way to buy and give gifts and presents to the girl but the girl will only end up not loving them like they wished or wanted.

It is time to do the reverse. Try and get the person whom you want to like you to actually help you out in doing something. It might be something so trivial. It might be something serious.

Whatever. As soon as this person does this for you, chances are that s/he will develop that conscious feeling that there is something likable about you and that will even make him to like you some more...


Show that you are still a human being
If you are the type of person who always takes himself or herself so serious, time is now to drop that behavior especially since you want the others to like you and become your friend.

People tend to like those who do not take themselves so serious - in other words, people who know how to show that they are really humans.

When you make some embarrassing mistakes, don't try to conceal it all the time or pretend that it didn't happen. Be ready to laugh at yourself and at such mistakes. It will only show that your human side which is quite attractive to this person. Being able to laugh at yourself will also show the world your confidence and people do love to see confident people.


I have given you some of the basic techniques of easily making friends. So now, the ball is now in your court. Your own now is to go out there and start testing them out.

Remember, that in whatever you do, your commonsense should always tell you that getting all these people to help you achieve your set goals in this life will always depend on the level of friendship you are able to establish with them so get ready to start making friends now.

Hope I've made myself clear?

2 comments:

  1. That was cool tricks, thanks for that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for reading Chukwudi. I hope you will make good use of the 'tricks'.

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